Monday, November 14, 2011

Silver Linings In A Busy Day

Today at the Boys and Girls Club we had a tornado warning which meant we had to herd all the girls in the locker room.  And since we were limited on resources, I suggested a game called "go-in-the-bathroom-stall-and-change-something-about-your-appearance-and-then-we'll-guess-the-difference."

Seems harmless right?  I expected them to like, take their headband off or roll up a pant leg or something.

So Maddy goes first.  And she comes out looking the exact same as before.  Even my keen observation skills couldn't detect a slight difference.

So the girls guess and try to figure it out.  And then when we finally give up she yells, "I MADE MY UNDERWEAR INTO A THONG!"

Kids do the darndest things. 



Oh and then I met someone named Forrest Gilmore.  WHAT AN EFFING AWESOME NAME! 
Forrest Gump and Happy Gilmore are quite possibly the greatest feel good movies of all time.  Of all time! 

Saturday, November 12, 2011

11:11 on 11/11/11!!!!!!!!!!!


To celebrate 11:11, Kelly and I made an enormous fort in the living room.
And pretended that our fort was a carnival tent and we were just really big people on display at the miniature people circus.


Then we went down memory lane by sharing hilarious stories of our childhood. 

Some generations remember where they were when President Kennedy was assassinated, or when NASA put a man on the moon, or the bombing of Pearl Harbor.
For Kelly and me, we both seem to have a vivid and explicit memories of where and when we first learned the Macarena. 

Kelly learned from her brother's friend whom she had a crush on because he jumped out of the emergency exit of the school bus on the last day of 8th grade.  
I learned from my Aunt Sherry at my grandpa's house on the 4th of July.  I can even remember the scent of Off Deep Woods bug spray around the campfire. 
We also came to the conclusion that, if done right, the Macarena dance sequence can fit any song.

Try it!



Then today we had a little incident at the house I call "dump and dash."

I was taking an afternoon nap, minding my own business, when Alex barges into my room with something like: "Jill! Get up! Hurry! Like, it's an emergency! Come out in the living room. Oh my gosh.  Crisis! I don't know what to do. There's!.. I just!.. ohmygosh just come out here!!"

The thoughts going through my head at this point were beyond terrifying.  I was literally trying to process where my running shoes were in case I had to run away from a Cyclops with a small child in his mouth standing in the living room.


Instead I was greeted by a dripping ceiling..


.. with piss water.

So Alex continues to explain that the toilet was leaking really bad. 

In my sleepiness I suggest "Hey maybe you should just call Reza (our landlord)." [Mistake #1]
And she does. Then she tells me she has to leave for work.
In the mean time, I put some Brussels sprouts in the microwave for lunch. [Mistake #2]

Reza shows up within minutes of Alex's frantic call,  you know, now that our house officially smells like stinky feet and I'm the only one home. Awesome.

So I was left to answer the door and try to explain this dripping mess.
I gave Reza a short explanation that there seems to have been a malfunction with the toilet upstairs, but I didn't really know what was going on (mind you, I had not even gone upstairs to see the source yet), and I go to my room to try to avoid this awkward encounter. 

Then I hear Reza call me upstairs "Jilliannnnnnnnn"
So I go up there, and Reza, his wife, and I all crowd around a pee and poo filled toilet as he ask me questions about what happened.

Again, I reminded him that I do not share that bathroom and am unsure of the premise of the situation (however, if I had to guess, somebody probably took a poop and tried to flush too much toilet paper hence the overflowing toilet water on the floor and through the ceiling).

Then Reza and his wife starting talking in Indian or Hindu or Urdu or whatever code language they speak.

I decided this embarrassing encounter was going nowhere fast, so I apologized for the mess and returned to my bedroom.

Awkward and uncomfortable situation of the year... check.